Better the Wolf I Know
by Blablover5
Summary: Inquisitor Lavellan has her past dropped on her head when someone that betrayed her, infiltrated her clan, and stole a priceless ancient elven relic, appears demanding help. Now this elven stone is in the hands of the Venatori and on its way to Corypheus. The Inquisitor's only chance to retrieve it is by having to trust the first person to ever betray her. Solasmance
1. Chapter 1

A curious rodent nosed through the grove, its whiskers twitching to find food. It dug through the fallen leaves, unearthing the few remaining acorns buried below the crunch of boots. Terror locked up its small body when it spotted me, my arms held aloft as I tried to concentrate through the veil and into the fade. I'd tossed one of the grimoires across a stump, but didn't need it, memories of the pull returning to me with ease. If I only plucked upon this string, I could draw forth not a note of music but a small flame of fire. Change the key and it altered into a bolt of lightning striking off my fingers. All were minimal movements to what I was trying to accomplish, a student's recital to a master's symphony.

Sounds of the tiny rodent feet scampering away caused me to open my eyes even as my hands remained threaded inside the veil. Something else had startled the little rodent.

"Vhenan," a voice spoke behind me. I didn't turn to face him but I couldn't stop the smile climbing my cheeks. Solas stepped closer, so quietly I could barely hear him over the crackle of forest leaves breaking in the wind. "What are you casting?" he mused more to himself than me.

I opened my mouth to speak, but his body slipped behind mine - the taut strings of his muscles pressing against my back, his arms slipping below mine. Our fingers threaded together as he fit around me, his hands splaying and winding to trace the same movements I'd been working on for a half hour. His hips pressed so tight against me, I could feel the edge of his bones through not only his pants, but my own robes.

"Ah, let me see," he whispered, his chin resting upon my shoulder. I felt the veil pull with his curious fingers, far more elegantly than I could ever manage. Where I tramped through a river, Solas seemed to part it with his hands, every drop of water obeying him. "Realigning the aura of your multilevel casting card with an inverse spell. Interesting..." warm breath tickled down my ear, trying to yank me back to the baser needs of the physical world. "And you can maintain it in spite of distractions," I saw the smile without seeing his face, the fade slipping even more into the world from our tugging upon it, "most impressive."

"Did you only come here to rate my skills?" I joked, wanting to give in to the temptation molding around me, but the fade held firm. "I could awe you with a firestorm lancing up the waterfall."

"No," Solas whispered, his hands falling off my own. "You do not need my approval. You are a formidable force on your own." Slowly, he scooped one arm around my stomach, reaching inside the gap of the fur to find my skin trembling below a thin shift. His breath danced along my neck as he placed a kiss right where my collar bone attached and moved his way to higher ground.

"Ah," I chuckled, leaning back to give him more grazing room, "I think I see why you came."

"Bal emma mala dir," he spoke, always quick to voice the depths of his heart but terrified to enact them. Even now his hands only skirted across my stomach, cupping the area with his elegant fingers as if heading north or south was too far, too dangerous to venture. It was the slowest dance I'd ever begun, and some days I feared what'd I find at the final stanza of the music.

Solas either didn't pick up on my dark thoughts, or - in his enigmatic way - did and wanted to prove himself to me. Releasing his tender grip upon me, I dropped my hands and twisted to face him. Crystal grace, that was the color of his eyes. It drove me mad to conjure up the comparison, Varric needing anything better than ice blue or creepy. He settled on something else I couldn't remember, also refusing to let me know how he spun my looks in tale form. But there could be no doubt with Solas, his eyes dipped down in a compassionate grace, but glinting with the cold blue of an unbreakable crystal.

Now they crinkled ever so slightly at the edges, lifting along with his smile as he gazed down at me. His hands worked around to my hips, one having to burrow under the belt of tonics I forgot to take off. Maybe I could have some help with that. Sliding my own hands around his thin waist, savoring in the worn down softness of his sweater, I rose up on my toes and lightly parted my lips.

Solas didn't need more than that invitation before he plunged towards me, his lips tenderly brushing against mine, each attempt increasing the heat, the urgency. His own fade tongue cautiously lapped around my own, lightly tapping against my lips. My fingers slipped down to roll across that luscious backside that may have caused me to stumbled into a few walls on accident. Once while Cassandra watched and struggled to not snicker behind her hands. Creators only knew how he didn't catch me rubbing my nose and swearing it wouldn't happen again.

I'd heard the whispers of approval of his cushioned backside from across Skyhold. No one knew what to make of the strange apostate mage painting the walls, and cooly watching from the ramparts, but his ass could cause distractions. I suspected he was more than aware of his power, and chose those faded green leather pants on purpose. Somedays it felt as if Solas played the Game better than the Orlesian court, and he did it so well none of us even knew his Game existed.

His lips broke away from mine, his head twisting. For a moment I feared he'd rear back, my boldness scaring him away, but his fingers climbed up to brush some stray hair back behind my ears. After lightly thumbing the point, he smiled those bold lips so sweetly my conscious thought melted away.

But then my brain had to get in the way, as it always did, "You know, we're far from alone. The others are just down that path in camp."

Solas glanced back down the winding rock where I left the rest of our party. Trees dappled in sunlight waved from the winds, obscuring us from anyone not standing in the clearing. "They may as well be thousands of miles away," he said, returning to me for another kiss.

Maybe it was the forest air, or a rare red templar free day, but I could get used to this carefree Solas. He took his time, peppering me with even more kisses, not about to miss an inch of my skin.

"Hey, there's a, uh...well, this is awkward," Varric's voice broke through our lusty haze. I popped back away from the warm arms, trying to soothe off a blush burning through my cheeks, but Solas wore an inner smirk only the tips of his eyes crinkling from the joke.

"Varric, we were just doing, um..."

"Don't need to tell me boss, I got the gist. Anyway," he shook his head, trying to wipe the image from his mind, "there's someone back in camp looking for you."

"Oh, who is it?" I asked, trying to smooth down my robes as if I hadn't been caught trading tongues with our resident apostate.

"Not sure, very tight lipped that elf is. And uh, Inquisitor," a glimmer of concern shone in Varric's eyes, "It's a Dalish."


	2. Chapter 2

Varric kept up a polite but friendly chatter while I gathered my things and we trekked down to camp. On occasion he'd shoot a glance back to Solas and raise an eyebrow, but his Chuckles only wore the same enigmatic smile as always. I, however, took a few more moments to bury down the shame? Embarrassment from getting caught? Or was it from just letting myself be a person instead of a hero? Whatever it was, it wafted away with the fade energy as Varric explained the elf he was certain was Dalish.

"Popped up outta nowhere, like erupted from the leaves, gonna be needing a change of small clothes. Never seen anything like it. Sent three of the soldiers scurrying for swords before she dropped to a knee and splayed out her hands."

"How are you certain she's Dalish?" I asked, though the move sounded familiar. A bit overly dramatic, but we did enjoy the theatrics even as we claimed to be above such things. Why wander in the woods facing threats of poisoned oak and hypothermia without savoring the opportunity to startle a few shems now and then?

Varric gestured across his face with his finger, haphazardly drawing invisible tattoos, "Had the same doodlings as you."

"Exactly as mine?" I mused.

"Yup, least I think so. Didn't want to stare too long, she looked about to jump up and eat someone's throat just for kicks."

"Curious," I leaned towards the elf walking beside me then paused. How did I keep forgetting he wasn't Dalish, wasn't one of the people? He spoke elvhen better than most of the others in my clan - even the Keeper, seemed to breathe the fade itself spinning magic not seen since before the fall, and delved deeper into our history than I could ever dream. But Solas' eyes sparkled with a different burn than before from the mention of the Vallaslin, a reminder that he despised all things Dalish. He wasn't one of the people.

"Could you," I said, shifting the book to my other hand to grip onto a tree branch guiding down the path gutted from rain. "Could you describe this elf?"

"Elfy?" Varric said, getting a glower from both Solas and me. "Skin about the shade of Dorian's, notch paler maybe, with muddy brown hair and eyes that wanted to murder my soul through my throat. You'll forgive me if I didn't ask her for her leathers size and if she was a winter or autumn."

"Strange, there shouldn't be any clans passing through here. Most have moved on to avoid the war and Corypheus. Well, if it's from the one in the Exalted Plains, I suppose we'll know soon enough." Turning in the bend, the meager campsite came into view. Nothing like the ones we'd populated across southern Thedas, this was just a momentary stop before we continued the march to the hissing wastes. I was looking forward to the visit, it sounded as if the Venatori had found something possibly of elven origin. And if they or Corypheus cared, it had to be ancient, another piece in the endless puzzle of my people's history.

I tossed the grimoire onto my pallet, then bent to unearth my staff just in case. It seemed unlikely a Dalish elf would drop by only to attack, but better safe than sorry became my motto after Haven. Also, leave someone to turn the damn trebuchet around while you fight off the invading horde - don't do one then the other.

Varric followed my uneasy lead and unearthed Bianca off his shoulder. Only Solas remained passive, his hands hanging freely without a care. "Thought you'd be the one bringing the biggest fire, Chuckles?"

"I see no reason to engage in hostilities while the target is unknown," he said, pivoting his head so the sun glinted off his head.

Varric shielded his eyes from the glare, "You could always blind 'em with that dome. Do you polish it or something?"

Trying to not smile from Solas' exasperated sigh, I nodded to my men and turned to face down this mysterious guest. Still bent across the ground, all I saw were brown and grey leathers with braids splattered across them. She raised from her dramatic bow and I met eyes I vowed to never see again. Fire burst from fingertips, lancing towards her before I yanked it back.

"Inquisitor?" Blackwall shouted, jumping towards me as if he could halt my magic.

"You!" I screamed, the flames rising higher as I glared upon her. Oh, Varric was right, she had the same skin of Dorian and wore vallaslin, my vallaslin - the exact ones I tattooed on her forehead and down her chin. But she wasn't one of the people, not after what she did to us, to me.

"I came with urgent news to speak with the Inquisition," the traitor said, her eyes never breaking from the fire churning upon my tips. "I did not expect to find you here, Le-"

"Do not call me that!" I shouted, stampeding over her, "You have no right to use that, speak that. Not even my name, not now. Not anymore."

Her voice didn't tremble, she didn't scamper or bow from the power burning higher into the crackling treetops as my rage fueled it. I thought I'd gotten over it, over her betrayal of me, of all of us, but seeing that face still covered in a promise she made to us opened the wound and dumped in salt.

"Anyone else feel like we stepped into the play when it was already half over?" Dorian asked. I heard him but didn't turn to answer, everything inside of me wanting to burn the traitor to the ground.

"Le...the Inquisitor and I have a bit of a history," she said, still not turning away from me.

"Oh, a naughty history?" the Tevinter mage who was going to be walking back to Skyhold leered.

"The kind where she infiltrated my clan, stole a priceless artifact, and then vanished in the night," I spoke the words so coldly the flames in my hand dampened. Without any flare, my fist slammed shut, killing the fire. "Telyn is not to be trusted."

"It's good to see you, too," she said, stretching her shoulders, the ripped hems of her fur pauldrons snapping from the effort. If I wanted to be nice I'd say she looked like she'd climbed through a briar patch. If I wanted to be cruel I'd say she should return to it.

Instead, I took Varric's approach, "You look like shit."

Telyn's haunting brown eyes snapped at that, a whisper of a smile floating across her lips, "How kind of you to notice."

"I'm appreciating it," I sneered.

"Do you not even care why I'm here? Why I'd risk you unleashing a horde of demons upon me just to speak with you?" she asked, nodding her head towards my still closed fist.

I didn't rise to her blood mage bait, well aware of the rumors swirling about the elf savage mage always surrounded by demons. Instead, I folded my arms and told the truth, "Not in particular. Leeches have a way of worming into the most uncomfortable of places when you least expect it."

"Look," she sighed, stepping closer to me. Three weapons shot out towards her movement; Blackwall's sword dipping towards her right side, Dorian calling up his own special blend of death magic on her left, and I felt Bianca singing over my shoulder. Only Solas and I didn't flinch, a perturbing coldness we seemed to share. Telyn glanced at the three threats unimpressed from the display, as if she could stand a chance against us. "I didn't come to challenge you, it's...it's about the stone."

"The stone you stole, I assume to sell to some Tevinter magister."

"Not quite," Telyn's eyes bounced back from me to the weapons, before returning. She seemed to be preparing herself for her next words. "I wasn't working for the Vints, or even myself. It's not what you think, Le...Inquisitor."

"What are you driving at?"

"I'm a Qunari."

Varric groaned, "Ah shit, not again." Bianca staggered back from my shoulder, the dwarf re-sighting her through his complaining. I felt Solas tighten beside me, his eyes darting up and down Telyn as if he could dissect and draw every inch of her down to a weeping puddle.

"They keep popping up like bad coppers," Dorian said, folding up his hands but I felt the fade still twisting around him, ready to pull from it at a moment's notice.

Telyn blinked, shrinking from my companion's response, "You, you're not surprised by the fact I am an elf but Qunari."

"Been there, done that, got a dead duke's head as a souvenir," Varric quipped. "Though shivs was far more personable than you. Might want to work on that."

I kept an eye on Telyn, but tried to speak to Varric, "If the Qunari wanted to speak to me, you'd think they'd go through the ben-hassrath agent we already have."

That hit deep, panic flaring in Telyn's flint eyes. Her gaze darted around the camp, trying to look for an ox man hiding amongst the shemlan. Too bad Bull was back at Skyhold, most likely getting into trouble with the bar staff. "You, you have one here? With you?"

I knew I couldn't keep the lie up, so I cut her free, "Not here at present, but I'm sure we could drop a line to him, see what he knows about this Qunari and the arlathan stone."

That drew everyone's attention, even Solas broke from our interloping Qunari to stare a question to me. For a moment, I glanced to him, the sides of my eyes promising I'd explain later. But before anyone else could speak, Telyn continued, "I, please, do not alert the ben-hassrath to my being here. I was Qunari, but...Le- Inquisitor, I left them, and I took the stone with me."

A cruel chuckle churned down my throat as I watched her struggling to try and slip on the guise of someone I never really knew. "First you are Qunari, now Tal-Vashoth, oh, and at one point Dalish, and a Tevinter slave. You expect me to believe a single one of these lies, because..."

"Because they're true. I, couldn't manage it, even amongst the other Vidathari. I took back what I stole. I thought, hoped that if I returned it, maybe..." Telyn closed her eyes and twisted her head as if I could believe a single word she spoke, "It doesn't matter what I intended."

"For once we agree on something," I said, folding my arms. "If you have the stone, then show it to me."

Telyn snorted, licking her lips as she tried to think up a new lie. "That's the tricky bit. I had it, and then those Tevinter mages found me. I thought they intended to drag me back, back to...you know." Her head tilted up until she beamed her eyes straight through me, deep into my soul, but Telyn stopped plucking at that tender heart long ago. "But they didn't, they only wanted the stone."

"How did you survive a Venatori attack?" Blackwall asked, gesturing with his sword to the tiny elf.

"I am not without skill," she said, blushing from the modesty. It could be all lies, elaborate ones Telyn invented for more of her dastardly machinations, but she appeared as if she'd tussled through fire - singes along the cheaper gear she wore, the edges of a burn across the skin of her arm.

"Sounds like a trap," Blackwall threw back.

"Venatori sending an elf along to try and lure the Inquisitor out into an ambush," Dorian said, "That's exactly something they'd try."

"I am not lying, Lethallan," Telyn said, rushing towards me, trying to grab for my hands. I leaned back, preparing to stop her with a barrier, but it was Solas who whipped out his hand to grab her shoulder and pin her in place. Her eyes ripped into him, a sneer tilting up her lip, but she made no move to attack. "You know me."

"No, I never knew you," I said.

"Fine, keep to your beliefs. But tell me this, what elf would willingly work with Tevinter? Would stretch their necks for those Vint bastards?"

"Hey," Dorian shouted back, a tinge of pain in his lackadaisical words, "some of us actually know who our parents are."

"Basra Vashedan," Telyn hissed at Dorian.

"Well, at least she learned a few curse words from the ox-men before turning traitor," he wiped back at her. The two looked about to come to blows and I, frankly, didn't care. Let the Vint fight the possible Qunari, possible Tal-vashoth elf. He'd most likely kill her, she already looked in dire straights and there was more than enough backup in camp. Whatever I thought I knew, thought I befriended was a lie built upon a hollow rock.

I was about to turn, leaving her to her own problems with the Venetori and the Qunari, when Solas grabbed my arm. His fingers dug into my robes, only lightly grazing my actual flesh but I felt a sense of power surging through them. Turning to face him, I tilted my head in a question.

"If she speaks the truth, then Corypheus could have another ancient elven artifact at his disposal." His eyes tilted down, the lips pulled into a straight line as he begged me to see reason, but I felt my head slipping away, my body trying to lean free. "Vhenan," Solas whispered, "please."

Telyn's head whipped towards Solas, the only defender of her, and she bared her teeth. I ignored her, it was the only way I could make the right decision. He made a good point, even if it churned my stomach to contemplate agreeing with it. Nodding once at Solas, I turned back to Telyn. Her eyes rolled away from him to me. She danced on her feet, wanting to be as far away from me as I did from her.

"We should stop Corypheus from acquiring anything that can aid him," I said.

"That's true boss, but how can we trust Horns?" Varric asked, jerking the end of Bianca towards Telyn.

"Horns?" she asked, then got the jibe and scoffed. She even rolled her eyes at me, as if I couldn't believe the dwarf's joke.

Gritting my teeth, I answered, "We can't. But that hasn't stopped us before. All right, Telyn, the Venetori you lost the stone to, where were they traveling? How do we find them?"

"That's the problem," Telyn said bouncing on her heels, "if I knew the answer I'd have waited and stolen it back myself. But I don't, not entirely."

"Well, you've been a smashing help so far. Oh hello, let me drop this problem on your lap and offer no solutions. Thank you ever so much."

"Dorian, not now," I said, aware he was still smarting from the Qunlat but needing to get this over with so I could find something to set on fire.

"The groups broke apart," Telyn hissed, her eyes keeping on me as her voice darted back to Dorian, "one traveled further west towards that dead desert."

"And the second?" I asked, squaring my shoulders.

"South, into the wilds," Telyn answered, bobbing her head.

"I see." I bowed my head, aware of how easily this could be a trap, that somehow through his political dealings Corypheus had learned of my clan, learned of what we'd lost and used it to dig up the woman that betrayed me. But, it seemed just as likely that she was telling the truth. He wanted elven artifacts, was tearing up Southern Thedas to find something, we just didn't know what. If it was this stone all along...Creators, what if she hadn't taken it, if he'd sent a battalion of Venatori to destroy my clan? For the first time I almost felt glad of Telyn's betrayal.

"Blackwall, I want you to take Dorian and Varric on to the wastes."

"Yes, ma'am," he said, sheathing his sword.

"What about the other path?" Telyn said, jumping closer to me. Despite Solas' hold she managed to get nearer, her breath wafting across my nose. It was the same sickly sweet smell that turned my stomach, now in a painful way.

I smiled. She'd have to have been following us for awhile, sussing out not only our strengths and weaknesses, but the direction of our band. Perhaps the Venatori did divide up, or, most likely, the Wastes was a distraction from the real direction of the stone. The one she wanted to take me towards. "I will accompany you to the wilds, as well as Solas."

She sneered at him a second time, but was in no place to bargain. "As you say, Inquisitor," she held up her unarmed hands and stepped back, for once giving me breathing room.

"Inquisitor," Blackwall began, "is this wise? Just the two of you and her..."

I turned to Solas and he closed his eyes, softly dropping his head - he agreed to my orders. But his fingers drifted down off my arm and cupped my fingers. Squeezing tight, he also seemed to say I should tread carefully.

Baring down upon Telyn, I raised the voice I used to cut down Grey Wardens and Empresses alike, "If she makes one wrong move, I'll kill her myself."


	3. Chapter 3

I kept Telyn a few steps ahead of me, visible, but not so close I'd succumb to the overwhelming urge to strangle her. She took my orders in stride, even saluting with aplomb as if we were playing again like old. I shook off her familiarity, reminding myself that I never knew this woman, this Qunari. Whatever she'd been then was a lie, a trick to lull me into a false friendship, though her tendency to question my every decision seemed to be a permanent feature.

For the fifth time, she turned from her position to glare at me, "Tell me again why you refused to bring horses? There was an entire stable traveling with you and your 'Inquisition.'" She kept her hands upon her hips, easily within reach of her daggers but the blades remained sheathed. I'd have ordered she tie them to their scabbards - or have one of my people do it - but Creators only knew what we'd run into and I wasn't that cruel to her. I also feared that upon danger my first instinct wouldn't be to protect her.

"Because, riding straight into an ambush isn't high on my list today," I explained yet again, digging my staff into the ground to stir up our footprints. It was an old trick that didn't work well against anything with tracking skills or a functioning nose, but unless someone was specifically looking for three pairs of elf prints it'd keep them confused.

Telyn tossed her head, her braided hair smacking together from the force, "You still think I intend to kill you?"

"I do not know what you intend. Be amazed I've given you this much rope," I hissed, gesturing she turn about and continue on her walk.

She sighed but obeyed, her boots digging deeper patterns into the crackle of the forest than Solas or I could in our bare feet. Even with her back turned I heard her mutter, "I assumed it's because you dalish don't know the back end of a horse from the front."

I let her comment sail by, but Solas reached over, the tips of his fingers skirting across my hand. It wasn't until he touched me that I realized I was sneering, my fingernails digging deep into my staff. Pinching my eyelids tight, I tried to will the anger away and reset my face to a neutral expression. His eyes searched over me, but I only focused on Telyn watching her for any signs of betrayal, as I should have long ago.

"I am curious, Vhenan," Solas spoke softly to me. At the elvhen word, Telyn's back straightened, her fingers twitching towards her daggers, but she didn't turn back. She continued to march forward, leaving even more obvious prints for me to try and swipe away.

"This stone we're hunting, does it bear a resemblance to the one used by Corypheus?" Solas continued, his voice a depthless river. Whatever implications of his lurked below the surface I couldn't reach them.

My steps paused as I turned to him, "No, I'd have remembered that for certain. Noticed it after he tried to take the mark from me. This was different. Simple. It looked like any other stone you'd expect to find propping up a building or wall. But if someone made contact with it, it lit up with a bright blue flare of magic."

"Anyone touching it?" Solas prompted.

"I'm uncertain. It could have only worked for elves, we never went around asking shemlan to try," I said, then turned to the qunari pacing ahead of us. "Well..."

"None of the qunari who touched it could activate it, save the saarebas," she answered and I found myself believing her. Not that it mattered if she was speaking the truth without the stone in front of us. Either we'd recover it and be able to test it ourselves, or it'd be lost.

"And what did it do?" Solas asked me, his own eyes hunting over Telyn. I wasn't certain if he felt about her the same he did Iron Bull, but I knew he wasn't going to keep his opinion of the Qun to himself, not that I intended to stop him.

"We..." I began.

"They never figured it out," Telyn interrupted me.

"Oh, and you did?" I continued.

Her voice dropped away, the sounds of the forest filling in the hanging silence. "No, or - if the Vidassala did - she never informed me."

"Of course she wouldn't," Solas said, as certain as he was of everything.

Telyn whipped around, her eyes glaring through Solas. She owned a sharp edged stare helped by the steel burn rimming her irises, but Solas merely shifted his staff to the other hand and turned to her. Her only weapon bounced harmlessly off him. "You...what makes you think you know anything about the Qun? About that life? You're just a...a flat ear!"

"Am I now?" Solas said, revealing his teeth but not smiling.

"Yeah, I know one when I see 'em," Telyn continued, her shoulders softly shaking. She patted her vallaslin and I winced at the marks I entrusted her with. With her lips she mouthed 'flat ear' once more, then sized up Solas, "You're too sure of yourself to have been a slave, but I bet you worked with nobles. Got that false bearing that comes with thinking you're important. Cleaned some golden piss pots in your days before cozying up to the Inquisition?"

Solas only turned his head to the side, his own eyes languidly marking Telyn's face, "I can see why the ben-hassrath recruited you...and why you failed them."

Telyn sneered, and I tried to smother down a laugh from the way Solas cut to the quick without rising to her bait. She was going to have to hone her skills to strike at him. Her burning eyes turned to me and she snorted, shaking her head. "I'll give you one thing flat ears, never in a hundred years would I have expected one of your kind to melt that frost bitten heart of hers."

"What?" slipped from me before I could stop it.

"What did they call you in the clan? The Queen of Ice? No, it was even better than that. Oh yes, the Frigid First," Telyn barred her teeth at me. "Speaking to her was like trying to wade through an icy river, not an ounce of warmth in that black heart."

I tried to shake it off, to roll my eyes at her attempts, but every word stung deeper and deeper under my skin. Old titters and bitter pain roared back from the past. Some wounds never stopped bleeding. My fingers dug deep into my staff, flecking off the wood as I ground my teeth. "You...you do not know me," I finished pathetically, glaring into her eyes. Telyn only laughed, savoring my discomfort. She tossed her head back, not even finding it worthy of watching her barbs wound, and something deep inside of me cracked. Before she could see me break, I shoved her aside, my steps increasing as I raced along the path. It broke upwards into the bracken, little more than a deer trail, but I followed that, Telyn's words haunting my every step.

When the blood pounding in my ears abated I found myself beside a trickle of a stream, my knees sinking into the mossy ground. I didn't even remember falling to them. I needed something, anything to distract myself from uncertainty and failure rising from the past to drown what conviction I'd managed. My fingers threaded through the veil to tug back the edges of the fade. I reached for the fire always within my grasp, but paused, watching the life lines of the minnows swimming in the stream. How easy it would be to prick them, draw the tiny breaths out from every fish and spin it into a tapestry of power, leaving the stream dead of life - the tiny, empty bodies floating down the river. My hands dropped to my sides to dig into the moss, always stepping back from that brink so many mages crossed.

Still partially in the veil, I felt before I heard Solas approach. His presence was like a dash of peppermint oil across a fevered forehead, colder perhaps than even me. "She's not wrong," I said, my voice rasping from effort. Solas only stepped closer towards the creek, pausing just behind me. I watched the minnows struggling endlessly against the flow of the water they could never beat.

"I...they called me that. Sometimes to my face, more often behind my back. The cold mage that threw the fire. It was humorous to the clan. I'd nod through the taunts, burying the ridicule behind my patina, which only seemed to encourage it. A heart of ice," I sighed, tipping over to the ground until my stomach parted the moss. My fingers ran through the water, the fish scattering at the invasion. "Cold enough to make the decisions that get people killed, cold enough to not care."

"That is not true," Solas spoke.

"Is it not? How many perished at Adamant, at Haven, any moment Inquisition forces met with the Venatori or Red Templars?"

His fingers landed upon my shoulder, rubbing a soft circle along the skin of my collar bone. "What about the trees? It was not a cold heart that planted one for every elf that fell at the Temple of Sacred Ashes."

"You..." I turned around, looking up to his crystal eyes, "you knew about that?"

"I stumbled across your work on accident; digging in frozen ground isn't easy even with magic and it drew attention. Cassandra was curious about what you were doing. I suspect she feared it was some ominous plot at first, so I explained the dalish burial procedure."

"I didn't know that. Thank you," I sagged down, my breath ragged from the emotions bubbling just below the surface. "It started as just the three, the others of my clan that were lost when Corypheus took so many. I wanted to mourn them properly, but there wasn't time. Creators, there still truly isn't. But it seemed cruel to only memorialize the people I knew when so many other elves would be lost, forgotten. I don't know if it was right, they were probably Andrastian and would have thought little of a tree in their honor but..."

The words drained from me as I stirred through the moss, watching my fingers dip in and out of the greenery. Solas dropped down to his knees, his fingers softly reaching out to me. At first he only touched my shoulder, keeping an arm's length, but when I turned my gaze up to his, he smiled. His fingers brushed along my cheek, tugging back not tears but a slip of my hair.

"Even then I did not cry. I still do not," I said, aware of how that looked from the outside. Sometimes I felt wrong from the inside too.

"Emma lath," Solas said, pulling my heart with his words, "you are not cold, you are practical. You do what must be done, and bear the consequences as a leader does. As a warrior against the oppressors of the innocent must."

I shook my head, but Solas only held firm, his fingers wrapping across my cheek, his palm cupping my jaw. "I have faith in you, that your heart will see to doing what's right no matter what."

I don't know which of us leaned towards the other, perhaps both, but my lips pressed against his - probably the only part of Solas to ever soften as he tipped his head, deepening the kiss. His fingers held my cheek while our tongues entwined, tasting the heat of each other and the still broken veil parting into the world. Somehow, in Solas' mouth it didn't taste of metal and electricity, but a warm spice bundle dangling over the cooking pot. It tasted of home in a way that made my heart ache and head swim. I delved ever deeper, wanting to be a part of him.

Softly, he broke away, my eyes opening to catch a whisper of a smile curling his lips as he played with my hair. I caught his fingers, pinning them to my cheek as I wished that for once we could be alone, be comfortable enough to...that still felt like a far too desolate desert to cross. Shuddering up a breath, I rose, Solas following me, his strength passing through to help me to my feet. Together we weaved back together the veil, the licks of the fade slipping back to its own realm. I smiled wanly, knowing that I needed to play the part, that this was important. But Solas didn't glide back like usual to that professional distance. He dipped his arm around the back of my waist and pulled me to him in a hug.

"Da'vhenan," he whispered, his breath wafting across my neck and exciting the skin.

"Ma sa'lath," I answered back truthfully, the first time I'd given voice to the rustlings in my heart. Even through all of Solas' platitudes I still feared how he'd react to it. He was the one always scared to push this further than where it began. But he wrapped his arms tighter around me, his head dipping down to place a kiss upon my forehead in reassurance I hadn't just burned everything we started.

Together we broke our hug, both accepting that there was still a mission to finish and we could find time after. But Solas' fingers lingered for a moment upon my back while I unearthed my staff from its mossy grave, his eyes watching my movements as if from a thousand years away. We found Telyn pacing back and forth on the path, muttering qunlat under her breath and scaring up the tracks beyond hiding. She paused at my appearance, a paleness rimming her lips. Then her eyes darted back to Solas trailing behind me and she crinkled up her nose, shaking her head.

"Are you finished? We have many miles to go before catching up to the Venatori," she hissed.

I waved my hand, "Lead on. I will be more than happy to see you gone as far from my sight as possible, as soon as possible."

Her steps faltered for a moment before she continued stomping down the trail to the south. A deft silence fell upon us, the three elves walking in a straight line towards creators knew what. It was some time before Telyn spoke again, her words raw, "What are your stores like?"

"Why do you ask?" I answered back.

"I'm not...we passed some embrium and tarrow root back there and I thought, if we're fighting Venatori again, that..." her words trailed off as if she was afraid to incite my wrath.

"It's not the worst idea you've had," I said, tipping my head towards a familiar red flower blooming off the path. Telyn turned back as I stooped down, my fingers flaying off the useful buds and leaving the stems to bloom again.

"Not like the time I tried to light the fire with an old ironbark bow as kindling," she joked, falling to her knees beside me, her own fingers working through the weeds.

I chuckled at the memory, unaware the Keeper's face could grow so red as she chastised the impudent one. It'd taken quite a few of us to talk her down from Telyn's mistake. But the flat ear had given us good intel, better than anything we could have found on our own. And now I knew why. I turned back to Solas, dropping the embrium leaves into his bag.

"I would not say that was your worst idea anymore," I snipped, rising to my legs.

She rolled her shoulder, trying to stretch out a crink building along it, "No, I suppose you wouldn't."

"How far until we reach this Venatori camp?" I asked.

Her eyes narrowed for a moment, surprised I could suss out the truth from her lies. I may not know her, but I'd spent enough time fighting Corypheus and his underlings to know how they operated. They never strayed far from a base of operations. Other Tevinter magisters seemed to have the same great love of the outdoors as Dorian.

Telyn watched Solas while answering me, "A day and half's travel. It'd only be a day if you'd brought horses."

I nodded, then turned back to my companion, "We walk until nightfall, then establish a small camp. Attacking them exhausted is ill advised."

"A wise choice, provided they don't move on before we arrive," Solas said, his own eyes sizing up Telyn.

"They won't," she said shifting on her feet, "they're waiting for something. Someone, it sounded like."

"I thought you said you couldn't get close," I countered, tired of her lies but unsurprised by them.

"No, I said I couldn't draw near enough to steal the stone, not to overhear their plans," Telyn huffed. She threw her haul of tarrow root at my stomach then stormed off.

Solas drew a hand across my shoulder, "If she is speaking the truth and not leading us into an ambush..."

"Then we may be walking right into Corypheus," I answered for him. "Only one way to find the truth."

Solas' hand slid down my arm to lightly drift across my stomach. "Be wary, ma vhenan," he whispered into my ear.

I watched Telyn stomping through the dirt, forgetting every trick I taught her to move unseen in the woods. Whatever I thought she was, whatever she meant to me was long lost. For that one year of friendship, I had another three of heartache and pain. "I always am."


	4. Chapter 4

"We could sneak around it," Telyn whispered, her hand accidentally butting into mine. I tried to shift away as she reached for her daggers, but there was no moving from our little outcropping off the cliff. Any further forward and I'd wind up a stain on the deep chasm floor below.

"You know how well that works," I mouthed, afraid to give anymore voice to my words than necessary. "The only path around takes us deeper into the ravine and through the river. Even then, it can climb."

Below, the wyvern rustled in the water, its purple and gold scales rattling across the lizard skin as it dived in and out of the pool, savoring the warm day. A shiver crawled up my spine from hiding in the shadows of the outcropping, cold rock pressing up through my robes.

Solas, like the rest of us, rested upon his stomach, his eyes scrutinizing the prey below us. "Thoughts?" I asked, trying to turn towards him, but only able to catch a hint of his ears and the glint from his bald head.

"It is dangerous either way, Inquisitor," he said, switching back to the professional decorum. He always did that when danger lurked around the corner. "You are correct, the wyvern is likely to smell us attempting to ford the river."

"Says you," Telyn hissed. "Wyverns have shit sense of smell."

I thinned my lips, not wanting to talk to her, but I knew what she was thinking. "This isn't the same as those little green and red ones we hunted together," I said, reminded of something that felt a lifetime ago. "These are powerful, and big..."

"And spit poison," Solas added, a smile in his words.

"Those did that too," Telyn spat back, but her prideful spirit shifted as she peered down at the prey below. She was a lot less eager to start the charge as she compared the lizard's head to a broken stump - its true size hitting her.

"What if we take it down like the old red and green ones?" Telyn said.

"You're mad. It's three times the size," I gestured at the creature snapping its jaws in a yawn that could also disembowel a grown human.

Telyn slid further off the cliffside so her eyes could dance in mine, "But I bet they love nug just as much." She pointed at the underbrush where, sure enough, one of the pink, hairless squealers zipped about. "Or did you forget how to throw fireballs while sitting on your fancy throne?"

I smirked, unlacing the veil and scoping my fingers around a piece of fire always waiting for my attention. "I'll have you know I do very little sitting on the throne. It's mostly there for show, and to hold bottles of healing draughts before setting out." The nug bait squeaked, its nose snuffling against the ground unaware it was about to become a roasted lunch for the wyvern.

"You always were bad at sitting back and letting someone else take the fall," Telyn said.

Rolling my fingers, I parted the air just below the nug. This part was easy in close combat, but could slip with distance, the fade's ground not quite lining up with our own world. But I knew fire, breathed it, danced inside and out of it, my fingers often rolling flames while I sat to think. This was child's play. "I was an expert at holding back until someone came along and pulled me from my duties," I scoffed at Telyn. Her familiar tone dried up from my cold words. Flaring my fingers out, fire erupted at the nug's feet. It shrieked, trying to run, but there was no chance it could break away from the flames wrapping around its body and charring it to little nug bites. The nug was dead before the smoke even began. "We don't have long," I gestured my head at Solas. He slid back towards the path that got us up to our little vantage point, but he reached out and held onto my hand, helping me down off the cliff.

Only Telyn sat by herself, "The wyvern's smelled the treat." She pointed out at the sight of the great beast's nostrils snuffling the air, then turned to find me steadying myself against Solas' shoulder. He passed me my staff while I felt her glower burning into my shoulder. I only dotted it away with my fingers.

"Are you coming or do I do this alone?" I asked.

Telyn gripped onto her dagger's handles as she scrambled to her feet. "This is my plan, remember that when it goes perfectly."

I sighed, letting the qunari take the lead, "How can I ever forget?"

She moved better than I remembered through the woods, her shoed feet barely crackling up the twigs Solas and I didn't disturb. But it was impressive watching Telyn slip further ahead of us, only the glint of her drawn dagger giving away her position as she slid down the path. I was less certain on my feet, testing the tread of the trail. Occasionally, Solas would reach out to steady me, it being second nature to him now. The first time it happened in the Hinterlands, I almost fell right off a cliff due to shifting rock giving way below.

His lithe arms had wrapped around me, pulling me to the side and I got a bemused chuckle for my close to death efforts. "I thought all Dalish were light on their feet?" he'd asked, letting his grip go even as a part of me wished he'd hold a bit longer.

"I'm afraid I missed that 'always landing on my feet' part of being an elf. I'm bang up at dancing naked in the woods, though." I'd expected a recoil, or even a snicker of derision from the serious apostate, but he'd smiled wider his eyes lingering a moment longer than typical.

Solas released my arm, drawing attention to the path ahead. Flat ground I could handle. Why were there so many cliffs and mountains in southern thedas anyway? The trees clustered without plan where the winds dropped their seeds with wild abandon, trunks splitting in half to allow another's branch to pass in between them. Darkness hung above our heads from the canopy thick with summer leaves. Ahead I spotted Telyn, crouching lower into the ferns.

"This would be much easier if the trees would part," I grumbled, ducking under a knot of twigs and bramble. "I heard stories of a wood where the trees themselves walked," I whispered to Solas.

"Truly? Did your clan speak of this?" he whispered back.

"No, it was Leliana that told me during her days of the blight. She said that rhyming tree never would have made it as a bard."

He chuckled at that, "Our Spymaster has led an interesting life of her own. She's certain to have left ripples in the fade."

I turned back to comment on another tale Leliana let slip to me after Josephine cornered us and then produced a bottle of something she giggled so much pronouncing I couldn't understand her words. A flash caught at the edges of my vision, and I dropped down. It wasn't Telyn, but the wyvern, its teeth gnashing apart the charred nug's bones, poisonous drool dribbling down to the ground.

My fingers gestured to Solas to slip to the right, while I continued after Telyn's trail. She'd vanished as good as any dalish could in our element. For a moment, I wondered if this was some twisted plan of hers - to draw me away from my people, my camp, and then slip away the first chance she had for the ambush. But I caught the glint of her daggers again, a sliver of her face poking through the underbrush. The wyvern was unaware, face deep into a free dinner, the smell of roasted nug obliterating everything in the area.

I spotted Telyn looking up at me, her eyes burning through mine and I nodded. The gleam of her own teeth through the underbrush was the only signal I needed as she slipped back down, circling towards the distracted end of the wyvern. Stabbing it in the tail half wasn't the quickest way to take one down, but it kept you far from the biting and poisonous end. Maker save us all if a wyvern ever figured out how to pass deadly gas.

Deeper in the woods I saw Solas, his crystal eyes watching Telyn as if he never lost her even when she faded into the shadows. His face was calm, the blank slate that gave nothing away. Carefully, I broke into the fade, threading it apart one string at a time until a small hole hung before me. It used to be so much harder before, requiring time and preparation battle didn't gift, but after the anchor I found myself flowing with the veil. The fade parted for me now in a way I'd never thought possible.

Fire was good against the massive lizard, and I plucked at the same threads that roasted the nug alive. Glancing up from my work I watched Telyn finally break from her cover. She was bent, only her back evident above the foliage as she glided along the side of the pond. The wyvern was far too gone, slurping up the rest of the nug's intestines, to notice an elf skimming through the fronds. I turned my focus back to the fade when the wind shifted, ruffling up my hair. A breeze blew behind us scattering the nug scent away from the wyvern's nostrils. Its eyes flared as the smell of dinner switched to moving intruders. The wyvern turned just as Telyn launched in the air, her daggers drawn for the creature.

I didn't think, there wasn't time. I just reached into the fade and summoned what I called the stone fist. Telyn hung in the air, the wyvern whipping around to bite her in half, when all the forces of the rift I could manage smashed into the creature's face. Its head reared back from the hit, sounds of teeth cracking and skin ripping following its wake. Telyn sunk down, her daggers digging deep into the flank. The creature roared from both hits and Telyn rolled to the right, but she wasn't used to the big one's reach. Before she could get free, its tail snapped against her, spines spattering deep into her leg.

"Gah!" Telyn screamed, fumbling in the calf high water to try and escape. The creature stepped towards her, its head shaking in rage.

I tried to reach through the fade, searching in time for the fire I knew was there, but a burst of ice erupted out of the pond, shattering up the wyvern's leg. It almost reached its eye, but the creature skittered back, twisting around to find the other mage attacking it. Grateful for the reprieve, I summoned a simple fire glyph and laid it right behind the wyvern. Solas continued to raise ice pillars out of the pond, driving the creature back, step by step until it landed upon the trap.

Flames burst out of the ground, trying to burn through the wyvern's hide but the creature was too wet. It screamed from the smoke blinding its eye but the fire did little more than singe it. Oh no, Telyn!

She managed to roll back to her feet, but blood bloomed through the churning water where the tail must have broken skin. Her daggers glinted, but without the element of surprise she couldn't hope to get close enough to strike before the wyvern bit. More poison dribbled off its fangs and the creature shook its head to spray the area. Telyn shrunk down, covering her hands with her face, but the poison splattered on every exposed piece of skin - the hissing a sickening sound.

"No you don't!" I shouted, drawing the creature's attention. Its eye rolled to me as I stepped from my shadows, launching fire balls at random to distract it. The first rolled off its hide, the second skittered into the water. Foolishly, the creature roared back in rage and got a burst of flame down its gullet. Smoke poured off the smoldering tongue, the scent of burnt flesh taking on a chemical scent as my fire combined with the wyvern's poison. It dipped down, shoving its head into the water to try and cool its mouth.

Using the distraction, I reached out to take Telyn's hand. Poison still cling to her gauntlets, which bit into my hand, but I shook it off. She seemed startled from either the wyvern's power or my assistance, but rallied quickly, letting me help. Her legs slipped in the water, spraying us both, as I hauled her away from the angry wyvern. But it wasn't fast enough, the blood leaving an obvious trail for the hunter. Cold eyes watched us from above the churning depths of the water, the wyvern's nose snorting bubbles. I tried to cast a spell, but Telyn still hung to my arm, throwing off my grip to the fade. Muscles tightened along the wyvern's back, the tendons of the front legs stringing into place as it prepared to leap on top of us.

Instinctively, I threw myself overtop of Telyn and tried to call forth a barrier. The wyvern launched into the air, its teeth widening to fit us both in its mouth in one greedy bite. The barrier caught around us just as a shattering sound burst through the pond. A spike of ice shot clean up through the water, seven feet high, and impaled the creature's chest. The wyvern hung suspended above us, the teeth chattering in pain as blood gushed down the ice spear until the creature stopped twitching. Solas yanked back his magic, sending the creature crashing to the water, its massive body splashing water and gore against Telyn and myself.

I shook off the barrier and rose off the crumpled qunari. Solas stepped out of the clearing, his face pristine, but fire burned behind his crystal eyes. "Are you well?" he asked.

"Yes, but Telyn is injured. I'm going to need some help," I called. She glanced up at me, her eyes unreadable as she scanned me.

"Why?" she asked, her eyes watering as she tried to stymie the blood loss from her wound.

"Do not think this makes you important. I've thrown myself atop soldiers I don't even know the names of to save them," I said, extending my hand. As she gripped it, pain hissed through the poison burning up my palm, but I bit through it, helping her rise.

Solas glanced at the wyvern he'd finished off, his head tilted not in pride or sorrow but concentration - as if he wanted to remember every inch of the creature. I laid Telyn's arm across my shoulder and pulled both of us out of the pond.

"Here seems as good a place as any to camp," I said, dropping her down across the grass.

"It is unlikely anyone will disturb a wyvern's lair," Solas said, "Anyone wise, at least." He smiled at his words, but I didn't respond, the ache in my hand increasing as I tried to stretch out Telyn's leg.

Solas' hand drifted over my shoulder, "What do you need?"

No, 'Can I help?' just 'Tell me what you need.' It almost unnerved me the way Solas seemed to read my thoughts before I had them. "Fire, I can provide that, though wood helps, and something to cover the wound."

While Solas wandered off to talk dry kindling out of the woods, while I inspected Telyn's leg. The cut was deep, muscle prodding through, but I knew enough healing I could at least slow the injury down and get it back on track. Healing spells weren't the same as fire. One was simple, elegant, flame meet tinder, conjoin together to create destruction. Fixing the body required knowing the body, knowing what it felt to have a broken limb, a torn thigh, your skin drenched from fever. It was the knowing that could be costly.

Telyn, mercifully, said nothing as I hovered just above her leg trying to remember the last time I'd sliced open my skin. It wasn't an accident from simple stumbling with the clan the way it used to be. A red templar, one of the ones with spikes for arms, snuck up behind me. I caught its movement before it could finish the job quickly, and threw it back with rift force, but it wasn't enough to stop it. Blackwall was pinned down, and Varric somehow leapt himself up a tree. There was little I could do as it pounced upon me. Its arm slashed deep into my arm, trying to cancel the spell, and splitting open my bicep. I screamed through the pain and shattered the air with fire, but the blasted thing rolled out of the way. They're worse than those damn Orlesian clowns. I'd have been a goner if it weren't for the quiet mage seeming to appear out of nowhere and trap the shadow in a block of ice.

Solas had dropped to me, forgetting his foe, to try and tend to the wound, apologizing for not being their faster. But it served me well, I knew how to heal gashes this deep. Digging the memory of my body knitting itself back together, I dumped the idea back into the fade and directed it into Telyn. There's a fancier way to put it which I'm certain Dorian would be happy to school me in, but that was how I preferred to think of it.

My quiet mage bound up the kindling in a pit, then curled up on the edge, watching us. I nodded at him, the hard part of the healing done. Before I stitched back up the veil, I flicked a flame over my shoulder at the kindling, fire bursting to life from within.

"It's unnerving how easily you do that," Telyn finally spoke, shuffling as I wrapped a small piece of linen around her still tender wound.

"It was that ease that saved your life," I said, concentrating on my work. "You were always too bold in your attacks."

"Ha," Telyn rolled on her side, trying to keep the skin where poison bit away from the ground, "you brought that out in me." I eyed her up, my face cold. "No, it's true. The ben-hassrath thought I didn't take enough risks when I first joined. Needed to toughen me up." She laughed again, but it landed in the dirt, my sneer rising up as I shook my head, preferring the company of linen and bloody bandages.

I turned back to ask Solas a question, but he appeared behind me extending a bowl. At my questioning look, he explained, "A poultice that should counteract the wyvern poison."

"How did you..." Telyn asked, but I was used to it.

"Thank you," I said, taking the bowl and handing it to the qunari. She sniffed it and reared back, the pungent odor too much for her.

"What is this?"

"Something that will heal you," Solas explained, rising away from us to return his vigil by the fire.

"I gathered as such," Telyn shouted, even as she dipped her fingers into the goop and spread it across the burns dotting her flesh.

Shaking my head, I rose to follow Solas. We weren't entirely out of range of Telyn, but she seemed too enraptured in healing herself than to eavesdrop. "That could have gone better," I said, twisting to glance at the wyvern corpse decomposing into the water. A few vultures circled overhead, waiting until we moved on to enjoy their meal.

Solas dropped his head, "Indeed. Though we came out alive, that is always cause for celebration." He smiled softly then reached down to the fire to hand me a smaller bowl. "For your hand."

"It's not a problem," I said, trying to remember when I mentioned my own poisoning. But of course he noticed, he notices everything.

"Vhenan," he said, scooping his own concoction onto his fingers. Slowly extending my curled fingers, he massaged the murky goo into the burn. At first it dug the pain in deeper, my eyes screwing up to fight back a hiss, but a coolness followed in the wake numbing my skin. "You need to be at your best. You can always learn how to heal wyvern poison later."

I laughed at his deduction. I'd been tempted to not pass up the opportunity, but he made a good point. If Corypheus awaited us on the horizon then I shouldn't be favoring my dominant hand. His fingers folded behind mine, raising up the poisoned wound now coated in brown sludge. I became ensnared in those bottomless eyes as he spoke softly, "And, I find myself unable to handle your being in pain."

"Then I shall do all I can to avoid it," I said, smiling from the way the warmth of his hand embraced around mine.

"See that you do," he whispered. There was no kiss, not even a hug or a caress with Telyn only feet from us, but I felt the intimacy flow from his fingers up mine; almost as if he touched me with a part of his soul.

"How long does this stuff take to work?" Telyn shouted at us. I turned back to find her face, upper chest, and arms covered in muddy spots. It looked like she went in for one of those trendy skin treatment in Val Royeaux and they covered her in everything available.

"Until the burning stops," Solas said first to her, then me.

"And that can be..." Telyn continued, waving her hand in impatience.

"A few hours." Solas grinned from the groan as she flopped back on the ground. I didn't entirely blame her, the smell was atrocious. It wreaked like the insides of the wyvern mashed with nug dung. I slid past Solas to look closer at the wyvern's corpse. It hadn't moved since we felled it, but someone reached inside the ice hole and yanked free a specific organ. The rest spilled out of the wound, the cold pond lapping against the viscera. Solas tipped his head from my discovery, and he shrugged.

I turned back to Telyn, the woman covered head to toe in the mixture, but I held my tongue. Even I was not so cruel.


	5. Chapter 5

Shadows leapt through the branches, dancing against the flames of the fire. Telyn tried to shrug each one off, but I watched her glancing out of the corner of her eye as if she expected an army to fall out of the trees. I'd attempted to read through the same page in my rift manual five times. Upon reaching the bottom, I'd realize I didn't retain a word and have to restart again. My free fingers rolled above the flames shifting the camp fire to a soft waltz through the air as it obeyed my whims.

Telyn watched me for a time, her leg extended as she prodded the bit of food we scrounged out of our packs. Without turning to her, I asked, "Does this bother you?"

"Should it?" she grew defensive, picking apart the blackened bread and chucking the worst ends into my fire.

It was Solas who spoke up, turning away from his own book. Out of my periphery I watched my flames dance in his crystal eyes, "Considering the Qun's beliefs on mages, it is a wonder you do not insist we both be bound."

Telyn dug her fingers into the blanket, scratching the stiff fabric as she glared murder at him, "I'm not a qunari anymore. Though I wouldn't be against sewing your mouth shut."

"Ah yes, you are Tal-Vashoth now," Solas continued.

"What of it, flat ear? Are you going to judge me too? Think it's easy to give up on all you know, your friends, your home without anything before you but the road and an empty stomach?"

"On the contrary," Solas said, "I find it commendable." His words were spoke in earnest, pulling my full attention as well as Telyn's. Then he smiled, "If, it is true."

Telyn scowled, "There is nothing I can say that will convince you of the truth, so why should I bother?" She struggled to rise, her leg stiff and unwieldy, so she could limp towards the pond and the still rotting wyvern carcass away from our camp.

In the encroaching darkness, an owl called a greeting for its time in the world. Solas rose from his perch, an elegant finger marking the place in his book. I followed suit, returning my still unread book to my pack. At this rate, I was going to master the abyssal pull after we defeated Corypheus. While closing up my pack, Solas dipped down to a knee, his hand resting upon my shoulder.

"The hour is growing late," he said, twisting his head towards the moon encroaching upon the boundaries of the sky. A sigh rattled in my throat and I turned to him. My now healed hand, finally clean of the wyvern and nug dung, ran across his fingers. He dug deeper into my shoulder, acquiescing something to me.

"I'll take first watch," I said, rubbing the exhaustion off my face.

Solas didn't miss the lead in my arms or the draw below my cheeks, his eyes narrowing from my choice, but he accepted my order. "Vhenan, are you..." his words paused as he glanced back to the shadowed elf stomping in the water like a child, "certain you can trust her?"

"Trust?" I laughed, "No, but I know where she's hurt and how to exploit it."

Solas nodded from my practical response. His hand broke from my shoulder, but before he turned back to his blanket, he passed the book in his hands to me. "I thought this might help to pass the time more amiably," he said with a smile.

I accepted the tome, but couldn't stop asking, "Are you certain? I'll likely lose your place."

"It is all right," he smiled, "I have read it numerous times. I think you will enjoy it. Hope, at least." He brushed back a lock of my hair, his thumb pausing on my cheek and then turned to return to his bedroll.

Good on his word, Solas drifted off to sleep almost the moment he struck the blanket. It was strange to watch him slumber. While most everyone else tossed and turned, their sleep shallow from the cold, or insects, or rolling onto a rock, Solas lay stretched out upon his back, his hands folded across his chest. He would not move from that position until he awoke, not even groggy from a night in the forest. Creators, at least he wasn't chipper in the morning, or someone would have tried to put his face through a mountain. It was a bit odd to watch someone sleep, even if that was what one on watch was supposed to do, but on cold or uncertain nights I couldn't stop myself. He appeared at peace while sleeping, not the vulnerable look so many with eyelashes fluttering against their cheeks did. I felt the same overbearing urge of protection watching the sleep of the others from Cassandra's dream sneer to Bull sawing up logs with his sinuses. But in Solas it was something deeper. Not that I found him helpless, but the exact opposite. A curious thought flitted through my mind and I wondered if Solas didn't appear the same way the elves of old did when entering uthemra. Not quite sleep and not death either. If I watched too long, it unnerved me.

Stretching out by the fire, I cracked open Solas' book. It wasn't what I expected from my grim mage. It was a compilation of fables from the dwarven kingdom below the rock. Each tale emphasized and enforced the good morals of being a dwarf; honoring the caste, dedicating oneself to honor, the choice of family before freedom, and savoring sacrifice with the legion of the dead. It wasn't until I got halfway through that I realized the true moral woven inside each short story. The hero wound up in the right within his society but was still trapped, cut off from what he or she wanted in life. The square peg willing to lathe down its sides to fit into the round hole found itself hollow without those missing edges. There was the grim edge I'd expected.

I'd reached the fifth tale where the darkspawn first appeared when I heard Telyn flop down onto her bedroll. She sighed loudly, tossing her head back to stare at the stars.

Without looking up, I said, "You should be sleeping. It will be a long march tomorrow."

"Then shouldn't you be sleeping as well?" she asked. I didn't answer her, my finger dragging across the page as the darkspawn consumed a thaig like virulent fire.

"Oh," Telyn continued, "I get it. You're afraid I'm going to suddenly slit your throats in the night. Maybe I'm even working for Corypheus himself."

"It is not beyond the realm of possibilities," I said, thinking back to the Grey Wardens. You'd have been mad to call them traitors before, but after Adamant...

Telyn snorted again, as if she wasn't the one to drum up the idea. She sat up, her fingers prodding at the linen wrapped around her leg. "Touching it only makes it worse," I said, still trying to be engrossed in the book. Her fingers paused in their exploring, but I caught myself. I was being unnecessarily cruel again. Setting the book aside, I crawled over to her.

"Let me see it," I said, pointing to her leg.

"Why?" her eyes darted over to me, a strange fear in them.

"Because if it's opened again, I'm going to need to heal it closed."

Telyn sighed, but stretched her leg out towards me. I lifted up the hem of her pants, exposing the linen bandage. Blood oozed into the fabric, staining it a macabre crimson and purple, more than there should have been. Perhaps some of the poison worked into the wound and I failed to account for it. Biting my lip in concentration, I dug into the fade, trying to summon every healing spell I could remember. Sadly, my training was rather lacking as the Keeper preferred the destructive arts.

"I'm surprised you even care," Telyn said, rising up on her hands to watch me work.

My fingers hovered an inch above her skin, "If what you say is true, then we will all need to be at our best."

"And if what I say isn't true," she countered, "then you just shot yourself in the foot."

"Perhaps," I answered noncommittally. Something deep within the tissue was wrong. Frowning, I reached behind to my pack to unearth a bottle. Telyn gritted her teeth as I poured the mixture into her wound, but she didn't scream at me even as it bubbled, taking the infection away with it.

That seemed to have worked, the wound fading to a bright red line in the fade, the green vanishing away. I quickly passed my hand back up her leg, trying to knit together skin. Telyn shifted on her hands, and spoke, "I know why you're doing this, healing me."

"Oh?"

"It's just so you could get my pants off," she said, her words falling into a disingenuous laugh. I only glanced up to her eyes, waiting for an explanation. "Because, you know,without pants I couldn't get far in the forest..." she said, her gaze switching up to the moon.

"As you say," I answered. "There, though it needs a new bandage." I glanced towards Solas' pack that had the bandages, but didn't want to rifle through it while he slept.

"What? Is the flat ears not happy about sharing?"

"I don't go through people's things uninvited," I cut back. Without ceremony I reached up to my robe's inlay and found the rip I'd been needing to fix for weeks. Working it with my fingers, I yanked off another row of satin. Before Telyn could snort at my actions, I wrapped the blue fabric around her leg and knotted it loosely. It would need to be changed once again before setting out. I slid back to my own bedroll, trying to find my place in the book.

Telyn ran her fingers along her wound, dropping her pants leg back in place. Only the crackle of the fire broke through the woods, even the winds dampening in our little campsite. "Every time I'm out in the woods I think about that time you scared the fur off a squirrel," she spoke.

"I didn't mean to," I said, hoping she'd stop speaking.

"I know," Telyn chuckled, "That's what made it so funny. You all bearing down, preparing that...what did you call it? Two-oinfernal spell?"

"Thaum of inferno," I answered, still not reading a damn word.

"Right, right, took up that dead wood like a treat. Never felt fire so hot in my life," she said, her steel gaze bearing up at the stars. "And then we're watching it, wishing we thought to bring something to roast when this little grey squirrel comes traipsing into the clearing, proud as you please."

"I'd never seen such accusing eyes in an animal before," I chuckled, remembering the brown orbs glaring first at the fire then back up at me.

"So you turn to it, and a spark of fire tethers from your finger to land right in front of the squirrel," Telyn snorted from one of her favorite memories. She would repeat it often with me, despite the fact I was there. "Beat feet right out of the clearing as fast as its little rodent feet could move."

"I thought about leaving a bit of food out for the thing after," I confessed, feeling slightly foolish from the thought. It was just a squirrel, it was not as if it could really judge me.

Telyn glanced at me; I felt her eyes trying to dig past the book over my face to find my own, "You would do that. Not when anyone's looking though. Just slip a bit of bread out at night so no one knows."

Her familiarity struck harder than I think even she meant to. Harder than her cruel words from before. She knew where to sting, but she also knew me. Before the mark, before I became the Inquisitor. For a time I thought there was no one in all of thedas who knew me better.

"You used me," I said, flexing my jaw and glaring at the book's pages instead of her.

"I...guess so," she said.

"Of course you did. You found the one girl in the clan, the loner who couldn't make friends and buttered up to me, invited me along on hunts - even when neither of us should be there. Shared food, and delighted me with stories about the shemlan world. You fed that unquenchable fire in me and all to your own ends."

"Are you finished?" she asked, her stark words causing me to drop the book and turn to her. Her cheeks were surprisingly flushed from the fire, the red brightening up her sienna skin. "I wasn't sent to make nice, not to make friends. The Vidassala wanted the stone, I was ordered to get it."

"Yes, I gathered, except it wasn't sitting out on a stool waiting for anyone to come along and steal it," I said. I'd had years to think over her plans, analyze every step of her treachery. "You must have known it was my grandfather's, still in possession by my mother, but one I could gain access to."

"Your grandfather's? I thought everything in the clan belonged to the entire clan," Telyn mocked.

I whipped around towards her, the fire lancing out from the force. Her eyes widened much like the squirrel's but she didn't scamper back into the woods; a pity. "Don't you dare," I said, "After your stunt, what you pulled, you have no right to intone anything about the clan! Do you know what happened? What they did to me?"

Telyn frowned, "Why would they do anything to you? I took it, it was all me."

"And I let you get close, I let you befriend me. I let you in," I sneered, struggling to blanket the rage in my words. Every memory with her was a betrayal waiting to happen and it stung. "They moved me to another clan, one that needed a mage they said. But I knew why. I left everything I'd known, every person, my family, my f...the clan because they thought I couldn't be trusted."

Telyn's lips fell slack, her eyes blinking against the fire's smoke. "I...I didn't know that."

"I'm unsurprised. Why would the qunari care?"

Her fingers lanced out of the darkness to grab onto my hand. I glared at her for daring to try that, but her head hung down, the eyes unable to meet me. She mouthed something but didn't give it breath. It almost looked like 'I care,' but she must have known I'd never believe such a lie. After a moment, Telyn whispered, "I'm sorry."

I shook her hand off me, snaking my own back to the fire. I wanted to call her on her words, on how she could speak a million truths and one lie and I'd never believe any of it, but something caught in my throat. She wasn't racing off back to her snicker, there wasn't that easy flowing mask falling across her face. The firelight bounced against the top of her head, her eyes boring into the ground.

Turning away from her, I glared fully into the fire, "It is too little, too late."

Telyn sighed, tumbling onto her back upon the blanket. She hadn't even shown up at the camp with a bedroll, her pack barely held any food. It certainly seemed as if she'd escaped the Qunari with only the clothes upon her back, but then again they hardly seemed the kind of people to skimp on corners. For once I wished fervently that Bull was here, sniffing out the truth far faster than I ever could.

"I know you want to ask me," Telyn spoke from behind her hand. She tossed it across her eyes, blotting out the stars above her - as if she couldn't face them any more than I.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Of course you do, you always wanted to know everything about everyone. You'd try to be subtle about it, watching, waiting for them to speak, but it'd be there. You know, you'd make a great spy agent. I mean, not so much now with that green magic in your hand and everyone knowing your name, but before..."

I folded my arms up in my sleeves, crossing them against the cold. Hunched over, I gave in to her demands, "Very well, how did you join the Qun?"

Her smile twisted up only half of her face, blending up into her arm, "Not why but how, because you get the why in the how. Like I said, you'd have been a great agent." Her compliments fell on deaf ears as I waited for an answer. "I didn't lie to you before, I was an elf in Tevinter. You know what that means." Telyn threw her arm off and rose onto her elbow, her eyes peering through me. "Better than most, at least."

"Just because my grandfather..."

"Was a slave that ran away with a Magister's little prize," she said, smiling at me.

"Does not mean I know what being a slave is like."

"See, that's how you know better than most. You listen instead of talking," her eyes softened upon me, and she gazed up with such a sweet smile on her face it almost brought a smile to my cheeks. I blinked, trying to shake off her powers. If Telyn noticed, she played it off by shrugging her shoulders and glancing away, "I was a slave, I ran away. The only difference in the story is instead of going to find the Dalish, I found the Qun first."

"A very easy and convenient truth to turn," I said.

The smile vanished from her eyes, a darkness welling up instead. "You've seen the scars. You think I faked those?" She didn't extend her arms or her ankles where a lifetime of shackles bit into her skin, marking her as one of theirs. I'd shuddered the first time she showed them off and dared me to touch them. Telyn had giggled from my trepidation. A strange response, but it was always the one she gave when talking about her old life - laugh it off to keep from crying. Or so I told myself then. Later I thought she was scared of being called out on her lie. Now...

"No," I whispered, thinking to my own breakdown after Haven. Grief was rarely logical, the mind finding whatever path it could to heal. "I don't think you did." She bobbed her head, smiling at my admission. "But I believe you faked everything else about you."

Telyn snorted, shaking her head as if I was the one beyond hope, "You were always impossible to reach, da'mi."

"Ma banal las halamshir var vhen," I whispered, the words rushing back from the Keeper flustered and angry, trying to get one of us to own up to our mistake.

Her snicker was the same as the one I'd heard while we hid deep in the leaves, waiting for the Keeper to storm by threatening to tear our braids off if we didn't return with whatever misplaced object he was on a tear over. Every time we'd get the same lecture, the Keeper's finger wagging in our faces about what terrible influences we were to the clan, and then someone else would appear apologizing for misplacing the set of weighing rocks.

"Why did you steal the stone back from the Qunari?" I asked, breaking up the river of memory.

Telyn scrunched her eyes up and asked, "What do you mean?"

"If you wanted your freedom, why not take it? Run when you found opportunity? Why bind yourself back to the stone and everyone looking for it?"

"I..." she knotted her fingers against her blanket. "I needed leverage, and what better use than something magical when the world's gone to shit? That's all."

I watched her eyes dig through the dirt, her fingers twisting around her hair. How did I not see what a terrible liar she was? Because I didn't want to. "One truth buried in a thousand lies," I said, shaking my head. "Whatever your real plans are, know that I cannot be as easily bamboozled as when I was young."

The fire crackled, and we both turned to it to spy Solas rising up from his sleep. He didn't even wipe at his eye from the quick nap, only bowed his head slightly to me. "I believe it is my turn at taking watch." I smiled at him, grateful for the reprieve from Telyn but in my heart I knew I'd be getting little sleep. The past haunted me every step of the way.

I rose up and walked to Solas, his book in my hands. He watched my every move around the fire, the flames licking towards me as if wanting a pat. Accepting the book with one hand, his other wrapped around my fingers. My legs buckled as he pulled me lower towards him until he released his grip to cup my cheek. His skin glowed by the light of the fire, the eyes flaring to a purple from the red light. Ever so lightly, his lips kissed against mine, my eyes slipping shut as his fingers caressed my skin. Solas leaned back from me, and with a tiny smile whispered, "Melava somniar, vhenan."

"I hope so," I said, aware of what nightmares the fade could throw up at me. But with his blessing, my heart lightened. Maybe I would find some moments of blissful sleep after all. Paying no heed to Telyn, I laid upon my bedroll and twisted to the side, trying to calm the fire burning through my thoughts. An ice coldness reached out, tampering down the bellows.

As sleep twisted around my body, I heard Telyn whisper in the darkness, "Fen'Harel ma ghilana."


End file.
